Therapeutic Weights

The idea of therapeutic weights refers to the importance of digesting and making theory a part of our spontaneous self and relating with others. That process takes time and implies moving theory and practice from different subjective positions.

These positions give different weights to three main therapeutic aspects:

Self Theory Relationship

The idea of weights is that they will nest with each other depending on which has the higher weight at a given moment. Each element is nesting and, therefore, wrapping the other ones. When we wrap an area with another, that one has the greater attention and will guide the decision-making and trains of thoughts and emotions.

This reminded me of when I was learning to drive in private classes. My instructor would tell me that I needed to decide which threats on the road were ‘bats or guns’. We needed to talk long about this because one of my main goals for this second time learning to drive was to drive with less fear. I did not only want to learn how to drive on the other side of the road (as I was now in the UK); I also wanted to have a private coach who knew better than my parents, who had taught me before.

He told me that I needed to forget the gears and the pedals, as that required a fluid movement of intentions and not a process to think about. My attention needed to be outside. But not just looking out but discriminating whether the pedestrian was more important than the red light or the bus coming from the next street. “You cannot pay attention to everything; you need to focus on the ‘gun’ and let the ‘bats’ be in the background,” he told me.

Differentiating threats was a big step towards driving with less fear. Leaving some processes in the background helped me relax and focus on what mattered the most in a given moment in a context of constant change.

This metaphor is what I would like you to think when I say that there are different weights in practising psychotherapy. Some of them are crucial but need to go to the background, as the most essential thing that is happening is in the present.

The three elements of therapy, Self, Theroy and Relationshp, become the most relevant and require our primary attention in different contexts.

When learning new concepts, we may move the weights in the order T-S-R (theory, self, relationship), with the theory at the top. In parallel, we process it with ourselves, our feelings, thoughts and memories, trying to make sense of it. The relationship is subordinated to ourselves, as we remember moments and try to connect with and digest the new concepts.

On the other hand, when working with clients, the order of nested weights should be primarily guided by the relationship R-S-T; in this way, the relationship and the self receive primary attention, leaving the theory to the background. The relationship, in this case, is where new events are happening, and we need to pay attention to it; we need to be aware if our client is losing attention or vitality and if our client is becoming distressed or emotional. We need to always keep the relationship in our attention, even if, for moments, we may look in another direction.

Of course, this is not how things always go; that is the point of writing this reflection.

In a given therapeutic moment, we may move the theory to the front, for instance, to analyse an interaction between client and therapist, and we may discuss that together. Depending on how we move at that moment, it could be an R-T-S, where we discuss with our client and find out what concepts better describe our interactions. It can also be a T-R-S, in which case the theory will be somewhat on top of the relationship, and the therapist will guide with a model and assess the situations with those templates.

Sometimes, when digesting a theory we have read, we may move to an S-T-R when we keep reflecting on the concepts, but now we are processing them daily and finding ways to make better sense of them. This situation can move to an R-T-S, when we discuss with a colleague these situations, or when we may be reflecting while in a relationship about the theories we have just learned.

In session, we have another type of moment when the weights move, putting the self as primary and the relationship as secondary S-R-T. This movement happens when we engage in self-disclosure, using ourselves as a resource for the session, and we need to shift our focus towards ourselves as the primary concern. Before making this shift, it may be helpful to spend some time on the relationship first with some theory questioning, R-T-S, and finding patterns in the situation. We may also use our floating attention to identify a story that could assist the client, which brings the self up once more R-S-T. Then, upon discovering this story, we finally elevate ourselves to the top S-R-T. In this moment, the therapeutic relationship will move focus towards us. If it is done in a good moment, it will help the client connect with us and trust us, and it will also be a model of emotional processing. Afterwards, we may again reflect at the end R-T-S on how this intervention worked. If our client needs clarification, we may need to explain concepts clearly and transition to T-R-S.

Although all this description sounds like rocket science, I mainly use it to describe a dance that happens within me while I am working.

The main point I want to make here is the importance of recognising weights of relevance and understanding that those weights may need to shift at different moments.

I also aim to highlight that when learning Crea-Therapy, I recommend starting by reading in a way that brings up parts of yourself and your relationships as you link concepts to experience. Then, it is relevant to keep digesting concepts so they become part of your experience and can move to the background.

When I play music, for it to feel natural and authentic, I need to forget the technique. That does not mean I am not using the technique, but I cannot focus on it. I would become clumsy and robotic. If I am drawing, I need to forget the types of lines and proportions, even though they are with me. For a gesture to feel fresh, it needs to be carried with the affective intention of the moment, with the spontaneity of the moment.

To become skilled, authentic, and spontaneous, we need to learn to forget so that the knowledge remains with us but as a third layer behind. It sometimes comes to the forefront when we need to review and maybe repair a mistake, but not when creating.

When I learn a new technique, sometimes it takes me a while to feel that it is mine and that I can wrap it up within the present relationship and myself. Sometimes, I may use it first with a client I have been working with for a while, and I may say, "Would you like to try this?" If it is quite far-fetched, I may add, “This is a technique from this or that tradition, and I have not used it much”. Some of my clients like to try new things, and they receive it with pleasure. This helps me feel authentic and connected and slowly learn the embodiment of a new idea. If you are always connected with your client (and they are in a secure state), these new explorations will not feel alien to the process and also not feel threatening. Always check how you and your client sense the process so each step feels safe (like a climber who hooks the ropes). In the end, take some time to review what happened and make sense of the new experiences you have both created/discovered together.

The first time may be a bit clumsy. To make this more fluent, I first tried to do the exercise by myself; I explored what I felt in a situation that may emulate the new practice and how much I could move it to an edge in my sense. Sometimes, with a colleague who is also willing to experiment and with whom I have the confidence to ask questions.

There is a process between learning, understanding, and bringing something to the session that may take time, but that time is precious.

When we are with a client, we both have a ‘sense, ' or ‘felt sense,’ as Gendlin puts it. This is a more nuanced experience than feelings. It includes a body sense and a broad experience with many layers. We must deepen our ability to sense our emotions by using our body as a resonance chamber. We then widen our experiential field, our granularity of experience, and our capacity to recognise multiple subtle intentions in our bodies.

Every technique carries some implicit views of being human; it carries creative and affective pulses and is like a piece of music belonging to a region of the world. We must slowly make it our own to be part of our repertoire. We need to learn to feel those melodies and the directions they want to take us. We need to move with them and may find ways of referring to them from our musical style. Ultimately, what will come up may differ from the original, which is good because the piece will be coherent. The felt sense of it will be coherent.

That coherence of intention and action, self and relationship, theory and practice is what a client feels like something to trust; a client feels like a path that may be worth walking. We trust music to relax into it and to let it take us with it when it does not have dissonant cords and rhythms. And even if it does have them, we may get that it was intentional and part of a broader melody.